Woman scales Ben Nevis wielding selfie stick instead of ice axe

A Brighton woman made it to the peak of Ben Nevis wearing shorts and trainers and wielding a selfie stick, but had to be helped off the Britain’s highest mountain by rescuers after it turned out it’s still winter at 4,411 feet.

Sarah Albone, a 28 year old from Brighton, made a spontaneous decision last Saturday to interrupt her mountain biking holiday in the Grampians and make an Easter dash for the peak of Ben Nevis, despite a complete lack of climbing gear or shelter.

Instead, as Albone wrote on social media, according to the Daily Mail, she had “just the stuff I had packed for the weekend and a stupid selfie stick... I kind of knew I was underprepared, and didn’t actually intend on getting to the top. I just sort of thought, ‘oh I’ve got this far – it’s not too bad – let’s carry on’.”

While Albone did indeed make it to the top, coming down was more of a problem, as cloud and wintry conditions closed in. Luckily she was found by a pair of experienced climbers, who apparently huddled around her to keep her warm and, indeed, contributed some of their own dry clothing to the sorrily under-dressed Brightonite, until other climbers arrived to return her to the base of the mountain and point her back in the direction of East Sussex.

While her adventure planning left something to be desired, the contrite Albone was eminently self-aware reportedly writing, “I was such a massive p**** and I'm so sorry. Not only do I never ever want to put myself or anyone else in that sort of situation again - I also would like to be able to help someone the way you all helped me...I was that t** that all proper climbers talk about.”

We’re not totally sure what the asterisks stand for. Perhaps her teeth were still chattering after her frigid near death experience.

Strangely enough, no news outlets have any pictures of Albone atop Ben Nevis. Which leads us to conclude that, sadly, the gallant selfie stick didn’t make it off the mountain.

In the meantime, Albone said she had signed up for a mountaineering course. If she’s looking for something less challenging, perhaps she could give the Devil’s boot a go, before working her way up to scaling Tracey Emin’s husband. ®

Bootnote: Eagle eyed readers pointed out that Albone was down the mountain not by official mountain rescue crew, but by other climbers.