High on bath salts, alleged Norse god attempts tree love

A 41-year-old Florida man is facing a pantheon of charges after allegedly getting hammered on bath salts, declaring himself to be Norse storm god Thor, attempting to commit "a sexual act on a tree", shrugging off two taserings, and assaulting a police officer.

According to this report, Kenneth Crowder was spotted this month thundering through the streets of Melbourne, Southeast of Orlando, "yelling that he was a god" before getting arboreally jiggy.

When confronted by a police officer, Crowder approached the cop "in an aggressive manner and identified himself as God".

A first tasering proved ineffective as the perp "pulled the probes out of his body and continued to fight". A second high voltage blast ended similarly, as Crowder "again pulled out the probes and went at the officer with clenched fists".

The cop then punched his adversary in the face "and a scrum ensued, with Crowder saying that he was Thor and trying to stab the officer with the officer's badge".

Police reinforcements were required to finally handcuff and shackle the alleged deity, who was arrested on charges of "battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence, and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer".

Cops suspect Crowder was bombed on "flakka" – "a variation of synthetic substances known as bath salts" which offers "a cheap, powerful high while acting as an amphetamine".

Bath salts is an umbrella term for designer drugs, commonly synthetic cathinones such as mephedrone, based on their apparent resemblance to Epsom salts.

Melbourne police spokesman Dan Lynch said of the drug: "We have spoken to some medical professionals here and they are starting to see an increase in its use. It's already in South Florida and we think it's coming here." ®