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NSFW: Click here, watch iPhone 6 being TORTURED
Hammers, blenders, thermite - will Jesus mobe rise again?
Apple claims its latest device is bigger and better than any other mobile phone, but the iOS 8 sporting iPhone 6 Plus has already been criticised for supposedly bending in fanbois' pockets.
So if it can't survive the flaming heat of an Apple lover's crotch, what hope has it got against a hammer or a large calibre rifle?
Not a lot, according to the results of six "torture tests" carried out by the sociopaths of Rated RR, an online show which makes the laddish japes of Top Gear look about as hardcore as an episode of Watch With Mother.
The show's Tech Assassin managed to buy up six units of the iPhone 6 Plus, which he then subjected to various brutal treatments.
"Having used the phone for a few days, one of the features that really stands out to me is the quality of the camera," the narrator starts innocently.
"There are various forms of thermite," he continues ominously. "One of the most common is iron-based, which is what I will be using today.
"Thermite reaches temperatures of a nice cool 2,500˚ Celsius, so let's see how the iPhone 6 Plus holds up to it. YEAH SCIENCE!"
The glass seemed to survive contact with the thermite, although the rest of the phone was fried.
The Tech Assassin also blasted the iPhone 6 Plus with a 50 calibre gun capable of firing a bullet at 2800 feet per second. Our resident gun nut, Gaz Corfield, said that .50" cartridges are normally used in machine guns and long range sniper rifles.
"Normally such weapons are used in anti-materiel operations, such as detonating improvised explosive devices from a safe distance or disabling vehicles by destroying their engine blocks," he said.
It's fair to say the Jesus mobe will not be rising again after being blapsed up by this bad boy, with the moment of utter destruction captured in gratuitous, 35,000-frames-per-second slow motion.
"That looks awesome," the gunman concludes as he surveyed the iPhone shrapnel. "That's looks really sick. That's cool. I dig it. Now let's see if I can find the other bits and pieces of this dude."
He didn't manage to find a single other scrap of the erstwhile iPhone.
He was less happy about adding the mobe to a blender.
"Oh this hurts my feelings," he says. "I'm nervous bro, I'm nervous."
Spoiler: the iPhone 6 Plus doesn't enjoy the encounter with a food processor, but parts of it come out intact.
Unsurprisingly, Apple's latest creation did not manage to live through an encounter with liquid nitrogen, especially when whacked with a sledgehammer afterwards.
The iPhone 6 Plus did, however, survive a dunking in water, although its screen smashed when it was dropped onto a slab of pavement.
"Out of all the devices I have tortured tested, this one has definitely held up the best," the Tech Assassin rules after his torture tests are finished.
Just wait until it encounters an iColyte's red hot nether regions. ®
Biting the hand that feeds IT
