The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Comments on: Clone dog mistress denies she is 'sex in chains' McKinney

"disguised as a member of a mime troupe" 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 11:52 GMT

Thumb Up

Love it! Definitely adds flair.

Actually, the McKinney story would make a pretty good movie.

after you with the 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 11:57 GMT

Coat

mind bleach pls

Of course she is, and...... 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 12:00 GMT

Paris Hilton

...If I had five identical boogers I'd make a song and dance about it too!

Paris ... 'cos women don't have boogers.

@Richard 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 12:05 GMT

A certain Mr. S. King has already done it, hasn't he ?

@disguised as a member of a mime troupe 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 12:08 GMT

Thumb Up

Must give it a try when I fly out this evening.

That's Horrific!! 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 12:27 GMT

A troupe of mime artists! Just one makes me want to heave, even the thought of a little gangs of mime artists wandering around brings me out in a could sweat.

The horror, The HORROR, THE HOORRRRROORRR!!!!!!!

@That's Horrific!! 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 12:38 GMT

You forgot to say "Won't somebody think of the children!"

Totally agree, though

Of course... 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 12:40 GMT

Coat

when police questioned the mimes, they said nothing.

Pix plx 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 12:48 GMT

Wot no pics? How are we to form our own speculations on no evidence?

What's that you say? The same way we always do? Capital!

Maybe the Koreans.. 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 13:00 GMT

Paris Hilton

.. cloned more than just the dog.

Paris - because I'm sure she has a chihuahua production line

The sad thing is 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 13:26 GMT

I'm old enought to remember the story. I seem to recall that time as a miserable one with a bad economic outlook, inflation on the increase and an unpopular Labour government was replaced by a Conservative one in two years time.

(Albeit the Labour PM was called "sunny Jim", not a description that fits the dour one we have now).

Anyway, now that this woman is back to add a little tittelation to the tabloids (including this one), then we know the bad times are back. If times are repeating, in about five years time we will be embrolied in a war - sorry, that's already happened...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 13:26 GMT

Happy

You couldn't make it up, you really couldn't!

Pics 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 13:53 GMT

Have some pics:

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=611044

@ Christopher Webb 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 13:55 GMT

Nor would I want to...

Although I do believe there are several sites on t'interweb where people have. Often purporting to be 'erotic fiction' ;) Difference being they'd involve the kidnapping, handcuffing, see-through skimpies, the mime troupe AND the five dogs. Allegedly...

Wandering Mime Troupe... here's how it really happened... 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 14:00 GMT

Coat

Darling: Well sir, I received a phone call this afternoon from Pope Gregory IX, telling me that our cook had been selected for the England Cricket team and must set sail for the West Indies immediately.

Melchett: Really?

Darling: Then a moment later, the phone rang again. It was a trio of wandering Italian chefs, who happened to be in the area, offering their services. So I had the quartermaster take them on at once.

Hee hee 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 14:09 GMT

Heart

There's nought stranger than reality. No doubt about it, this has to be "Better than life". Now, if only I can think hard enough, perhaps I can make some Valkyrie come into existence (I'm not greedy, three or four would do). I could so do with a good end-of-week massage to make up for the crap week I've had. Anyway, what was the article about again?

Note that I've been careful and avoided all use of sarcastic humour in this comment e.g. in calling New Zealanders Australians in order to get back at them for their woeful lack of knowledge of oor Robbie's nationality (oops, wrong article?). I mean I don't want anyone to get upset and think I was serious. If I ever meet up with you David, we can share a few pints together and collectively moan about the way the world is heading. And I promise that I wouldn't even dream of commenting on how ambiguous you were concerning which bridge across the Forth you were talking about. After all, you deserve some slack.

So, back to the point. It's obvious our dear girl only had her charming deceased dog cloned as a prelude to attempting to clone a Mormon Missionary and thus provide herself with a constant supply if any happen to break away from the fluffly but solid restraints. I know, no need to comment, they appear to already clone Mormon Missionaries quite satisfactorily.

Right, horned helmet, large breasts, smell of wolf. Strain Pete, strain!!!

I remember the story too... 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 14:11 GMT

...and remeber thinking at the time that she wouldn't have had to handcuff me...unless she wanted to ;)

photo evidence 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 14:18 GMT

so where is the "authentic" photo of the alleged incident (with the mandatory optimus prime hiding in the background)

If you should happen to meet 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 14:46 GMT

Happy

a beauty queen looking to handcuff and take sexual advantage of a largish, mature computer geek any time soon, send her my way will you? I would gladly take the abuse to protect my brethren from such torture.

@Phil Staite 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 14:56 GMT

Thumb Up

Thanks mate! The photos of the lass and her pit bull were just what I needed. Eh? What do you mean there was no pit bull photo?

All Part of the Virtually Secured MasterPilot InfraStructure Plan ....* 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 15:32 GMT

"Actually, the McKinney story would make a pretty good movie." ... By Richard Posted Friday 8th August 2008 11:52 GMT

The Register would need to be featuring in that movie too, with more than just a Bit part too, Richard.

It's script might warrant a raving D Notice though, which would just verify that such Department Heads are Raving and well past their sell-by dates... ie Rotten to their Cores.

Which all makes it sound like a ripping idea and colluding with the Hadron Collider would Really give IT some 00mph.

Let the Virtually Great Olympian Games begin? :-)

* All the best VD Infrastructure jobs are advertised in the Register :-)

If she's not the same person, 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 16:10 GMT

Coat

perhaps she's a clone.

Any one of the five identical coats, please.

Just as well 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 16:24 GMT

Happy

According to the Guardian the pooches in question are named Booger McKinney, Booger Lee, Booger Ra, Booger Hong and Booger Park after the surgeons in Korea who cloned them.

All I can say is its just as well there wasnt a Mr Me on the team........

I remember the phot in the mirror 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 18:27 GMT

IT Angle

There was a Photo of her naked on horseback in the Sunday Mirror.

It was only spoilt by the line around her neck where the photo had been doctored to add her head to someone else's body :)

It was so badly done it was glaringly obvious.

These days it would have been Photoshopped, and not so hilarious- so there's the IT angle :D

Joyce McKinney 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 18:36 GMT

I remember that one. If memory serves, the prevailing opinion was that the mormon in question was mad to be spurning hot bondage-themed totty like that. She was, at least from her Daily Mirror pix, quite a hotty.

England in the 70s, a hotbed of forced lust and non-tolleration of pesky religeous cultish mores in the face of a nice pair.

Oh Happy Memories... 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 19:25 GMT

Coat

of all those teenage jokes about the missionary position being chained to a bed,

and now I'm sure I can add a few new ones about her Puppies...

Extradite from the US? 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 20:05 GMT

Stop

The chances of extraditing a US citizen from the USA is pretty small. That she is blond, and a ex-beauty queen, makes those small odds to pretty well infinitesimal.

I'd hazard that the UK won't even bother to ask the US for her.

Photos 

Posted Friday 8th August 2008 22:24 GMT

Go

Head over to www.boingboing.net for before and after pics.

I don't know. They could be the same person.

Stop It 

Posted Saturday 9th August 2008 00:58 GMT

Paris Hilton

If these posts keep coming , I am likely to need medical attention.

I can see the newspaper story now

Ambulance staff report- " Found laying on floor , rolling around , tears streaming down face and making noise that sounds like hahahaha etc"

@threaded 

Posted Saturday 9th August 2008 11:14 GMT

"I'd hazard that the UK won't even bother to ask the US for her."

There wouldn't be any point. The US haven't ratified their end of the extradition treaty anyway and, as usual, our government is just bending over and taking it.

hottie and the beast 

Posted Saturday 9th August 2008 12:40 GMT

Thumb Up

God hands the mormon missionary a gift like that, and the stupid bastard doesn't recognise it?!?

Any hottie should be allowed to strap any single male person to a piece of furniture and have her way with him. Anything else would be a crime against humanity.

@Dvid 

Posted Saturday 9th August 2008 15:58 GMT

Happy

Me too. Mind you, I don't (and didn't) have the disadvantage of Mormon 'safety' underwear. I remember wondering why she didn't choose someone more co-operative (like me), but it's the old forbidden fruit problem, I guess...

Full detail... 

Posted Saturday 9th August 2008 18:01 GMT

Happy

... and conclusive pic here

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article4476877.ece

Miss Wyoming? 

Posted Sunday 10th August 2008 14:19 GMT

Paris Hilton

If this witch was Miss Wyoming, the bar must have been very low in selecting her in the state beauty contest based on her current looks and mental state. No wonder why she had to chain her "lover" to get anything!

Makes Paris look extremely lustful compared to this woman...

If cloning form DNA had been available back in the 1970's 

Posted Sunday 10th August 2008 18:31 GMT

.. she could have had 5 Kirk Andersons' creathed from the scrapings of his todger.

@Finnbar 

Posted Monday 11th August 2008 15:30 GMT

At any rate, even without the extradition treaty with the US, wouldn't the statute of limitations have expired by now?

re: hottie and the beast 

Posted Monday 11th August 2008 15:48 GMT

Maybe he REALLY believes in his holy scriptures and that sex out of wedlock is a sin.

Yeah, I know, we're ALWAYS supposed to be "up for it" and we're ALWAYS the rapist because we can't think with anything other than our cocks. And nobody ever believes in their holy words unless they believe them to say "blow up the infidel".

Says a lot about religion... 

Posted Monday 11th August 2008 20:56 GMT

That you get kidnapped by a beauty queen and bonked senseless, and you complain!

Weirdos the lot of 'em!

Blame it on the mimes... 

Posted Tuesday 12th August 2008 20:46 GMT

Coat

...they'll never talk.

Don’t Miss

email symbolStill sending naked email? Get your protection here

Security How-to Buckle your seatbelt, encrypt your bits

Google's Satan phoneT-Mobile G1 Google Android-based smartphone

Review Operating System 1, Hardware 0

Ubuntu teaser Ubuntu 8.10 - All Hail new Network Manager

Review The good kind of UI theft

OpenOffice_logoOpenOffice 3.0 - the only option for masochistic Linux users

Review And linear optimizing Mactards