Fans of artistic crimes against humanity foisted on an unsuspecting world by companies who really believe that setting their mission statements to music will result in something other than incredulous laughter will certainly enjoy this product pitch from lab tech supplier Eppendorf International:

Once you've checked the vid, have another look at those lyrics:

Pipetting all those well-plates, baby, sends your thumbs into overdrive
And spending long nights in the lab makes it hard for your love to thrive

What you need is automation, girl, something easy as 1-2-3
So put down that pipette, honey, I got something that will set you free

No, it's not a really big pipette but, as you'll have noticed, something called epMotion. We'd tell you exactly what that is, were it not for the fact that we're currently crowbarring open the Vulture Central management drinks cabinet in a desperate attempt to get to the only known antidote to this kind of video: hard liquor and plenty of it. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mike Richards for the tip-off.

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