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Biting the hand that feeds IT

Comments on: HP pays $13.9bn for EDS

Great name 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 12:06 GMT

Thumb Down

I so look forward to answering the phone - 'Good morning, EDS - An HP Company, how may I help you'. :(

Gov't contracts? 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 12:19 GMT

Paris Hilton

So now the NuLab's Gov't contracts will be screwed up by HP instead of EDS.

Why are civil servants so stupid over commissioning IT contracts - and why is it anathema to them to actually ask the end users what they actually need & what they actually want?

This is obviously a rhetorical question, as we all know Whitehall to be the last refuge of the terminally incompetent and the otherwise unemployable.

Paris, 'cos she has the intellectual capacity of which most Whitehall occupants can only dream...

Nitpicking 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 12:20 GMT

Coat

Just to do my geeky duty and be anally retentive: Silicon Valley (in the guise of HP) already was in Texas, courtesy of COPAQs (R.I.P.) old Houston Headquarters that they still keep around.

Mines the one with the "Beckmessers guide to the Galaxy" in the pocket...

hardware 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 12:21 GMT

hope that doesnt mean we'r changing all our hardware to HP! :)

As an EDS employee, the only thing I have to say is... 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 12:26 GMT

Alert

RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!

KEN CALLING 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 12:40 GMT

Heart

I love da EDS long time go EDS go u muthas. When will these HP hombots just leave the EDS alone.

Smack me with a shovel cat face

@Rodrigo 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 12:45 GMT

Writing as both an ex-HP and an ex-EDS employee, I have to say that Rodrigo has pretty much the right idea. On the other hand, since C.Fiorina converted that delightful Californian company into a Texan one (philosophy; not location), maybe you won't notice much difference.

(No icon, 'cos there isn't one for "just mildly depressed".)

I've sent Ron Rittenmeyer an email 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 13:06 GMT

Coat

It said WOO! I'm still waiting for a rely.

"Doubling" ? 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 13:08 GMT

Pirate

Surely this was an inadvertent typo, your opener makes much more sense if written as

>"Hewlett Packard has bought EDS for $13.9bn, dooming its services business at a stroke."

There. Fixed it for ya.

HP Kit 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 13:20 GMT

Alert

HP Printers - OK, HP Laptops - Good, HP PC's - Err........ Compaq - ????????

I am EDS... (what a load of boll*x).. 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 13:25 GMT

Pirate

After spending thousands of dollars on a new advertising campaign entitled 'I am EDS...' only to sell itself to HP.. What a waste of money!!

Proof that EDS managers cannot even run a pi** up in a brewery let alone a multi-national IT Outsourcing company!

Itanium - Final Nail 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 13:54 GMT

I guess cause Itanium sank they need to diversify, but EDS?

The Matrix 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 14:03 GMT

Alien

It'll be Neo and Agent Smith in real life.

WTF! 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 14:22 GMT

This about as mad as Time-Warner buying AOL

On spending money for a name 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 15:11 GMT

Perhaps of some historical interest, regarding payments to PR agencies: I was at SD-Scicon when EDS bought it. The staff were gathered in a meeting to be told that some large sum of money had been paid to a PR agency to assess the competing merits of various possible names for the company. Said PR agency declared that the best mix of reputation and market presence (my apologies for the jargon) was "EDS-Scicon". And thus were we named.

So far, so irrelevant. But almost exactly a year later, we had an almost identical meeting to tell us that the exact same exercise had this time produced the answer that we should be called...

...EDS.

Beyond satire!

As another EDS employee... 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 15:26 GMT

Go

Will I get outsauced?

@Ted Treen 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 15:27 GMT

Do you think HP could be persuaded to buy the Civil Service?

Since they're now in the business of poo collecting.......

Darn! It's not April 1st... 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 15:40 GMT

Unhappy

@Alan Davies: RR's probably still trying to figure how to open your mail - either that or his PA is on vacation. LOL

@Rodrigo: I'm with you mate, like someone else said:

Pre-deal you get a mail "Dear ex-employee. Your work has been transferred to a Brown Shore. Have a nice day. Signed, useless-USA-based-self-abuser@eds.com"

Post-deal you get a mail "Dear ex-EDS-employee. Your work has been transferred to a Brown Shore/replaced-by-Wintel-cluster (delete as appropriate). Bye! Signed, useless-USA-based-self-abuser@hp.com"

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose... (apologies for the lack of accents, and the poor French).

Overall makes sense... 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 15:46 GMT

Thumb Up

HP wants to compete with IBM.

HP needs services arm.

What's next? Sun and Accenture?

Or maybe Sun might make a bold move and buy out Tata?

@Michael Ortmann 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 16:38 GMT

You forgot about Dell and THE original, THE ONE and ONLY Texas Instruments, makers of the best selling chip in the world !! The TI9900 is the most ubiquitous chip in the world; it's in everything from washing machines and fridges to the bloody annoying musical(???) doorbell !!

As the prophesy stated - "In the last days, there shalt be WARS and rumours of WARS, and brother shalt turn against brother, and failing companies shalt purchase failed companies !! Thus spake the prophet as he puffeth on (still) Class-C herbs !!"

Great news 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 16:38 GMT

Go

Does this mean El Reg can get back to spreading rumours and speculation about HP, like the great days of Fiorina and the Compaq buy?

One two initial company buys a three initial company 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 16:55 GMT

And so it goes. Initials seem to be plentiful these days, and have no real meaning. It is just initials, and not much else.

HP used to be called Hewlett Packard, but no longer!

EDS used to be called Electronic Data Services (as I understand), but no longer.

IBM used to be called International Business Machines, but no longer.

DEC used to be called Digital Equipment Corporation, but is no longer.

DRI used to be called Intergalactic Digital Research, but doesn't exist.

Microsoft used to have decent software (you get the idea).

Names come and go, employees come and go, companies get bigger and smaller, then come and go. Life goes on. Oh, well.

Yawn! 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 17:54 GMT

So now EDS will have to buy crappy HP kit instead of the shitty Dell stuff they buy today.

EDS - an HP Company 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 18:48 GMT

Coat

Yes - Houses of Parliament Sauce company.

I have the 'pleasure' of working for EDS and I wouldnt touch it with a barge pole.

EDS is big on talk but rarely delivers either to the customer or its employees. The management spin the truth more than the NuLabour UK Government, I think the phrase is 'economical with the truth'. Most of them couldnt run a welk stall. If EDS was well run it would be making a fortune from its apps business but it will never get there while the YES men and women are in charge. The numbers dont lie but the managers do - transformation is an illusion.

HP has bought a company with many good clients but terrible management and a demoralised work force. As they say ''things can only get better' although I am expecting more of the same given HP seem to have the same 'cheapShore' business model.

Otherwise they would have got rid of Ron RittenMeyer - he would sell his own mother if he thought he could get a cheaper one.

Match Made In Heaven 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 20:19 GMT

EDS = Extremely Dumpy Service (Sorry EDS employees but your managment really sucks)

HP = How Pathetic

Looks like a good match to me.... :P

Home,home on the range... 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 20:46 GMT

Gates Horns

I don't want to insinuate that EDS are cowboys, but I've personally seen them go live for large govt dept , on the day some whitehall mandarin came to visit, with no trained staff , no PC build, and, in fact -no pcs or phones on the desk....well, you get the picture. Sharp exits all round - HP, what are you thinking you clowns? Michael Dell will be laughing his nuts off -and good luck to him!!!

Re Gov't contracts? 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 21:19 GMT

Alert

"So now the NuLab's Gov't contracts will be screwed up by HP instead of EDS."

EDS is the prime contractor for the US Navy/Marine Corps Intranet (NMCI), which has a few more years of life (contract to 2010, plus probable extensions). It was the bady executed early NMCI buildout that lead to EDS's $800m "financial curb kiss" for *one quarter* 4 years ago. That alone should have stuffed EDS but the contract was renegotiated to keep EDS in play since NMCI is too important politically to let die. Not to mention only M$ desktop software are allowed by the contract. (As well as the [ahem] "commodity" Dell hardware noted by a prior comment.) Does HP *truly* understand the game they bought in to?

PS: HP's CEO is Mark Hurd? Of the GNU/Hurd family? Just curious is all. ^_^

Fun fun !!! 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 21:25 GMT

Flame

Rodrigo has got a fair point, but I'm quite looking forward to watching all the mid level "managers" running around worrying if their jobs are safe or not :) Be the most active they've been in years ! Also fun to watch them as they try to justify their existence.

Maybe they'll get rid of all the over "engineered" processes that we're forced to use too, like that useless SharePoint system.

How many re-orgs between now and the final hand-over I wonder ?

Flames, because it's going to crash and burn !

RE: Ian Michael Gumby 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 21:26 GMT

Happy

I don't think Sun have enough money left in the piggybank to buy Accenture after blowing it on StorageTek and MySQL. Sun was down to their last $4bn back in 2003, and haven't made a profit since, just bled more and more red ink (hopefully HP ink!). If they lose the big chunk of business that EDS used to bring them each year I expect Sun would have problems buying the whelk stall someone mentioned.

I am a bit confused though - how does the Compaq merger rate as such a disaster? Pre-merger, HP was a $40bn turnover company and seemed stuck at that figure, and Compaq was less; post-merger HP has taken the best of both companies and grown to be the largest IT company with a turnover of over $100bn! After the StoregeTek fiasco, that sounds like the kind of disaster Sun would dream of, and even IBM look at enviously.

Can we borrow a pen please HP 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 21:34 GMT

Linux

EDS is managed for quarterly shareholder orientated results. The Plano management couldn't give a monkies about the morale of it's work force. Which is sad, because there are some very frustrated good employees who are overworked and underpaid. These are overbalanced by the complacent ones that are far too expensive to get shot of!

So HP have spent all their money on buying EDS. They will then trim the EDS work force through redundancy payoffs. That leaves negative cash (by my maths) to try motivate and reinvigorate the employees that you need to turn the business around.

And there are some good and successful projects worth keeping; which HP will probably break up and sell.

I guess EDS folk will be waiting a while for morale to improve. But for now we ask, "can we have some pens please Mr Hurd? This stationary purchase freeze has be going for too long!".

Buying Success 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 21:44 GMT

Linux

The new (and very expensive) EDS advertisement campaign majors on the company being "behind success". How far behind is the question.

Couldn't HP have borrowed some extra $billion and bought success outright rather than second rate.

What about the management 

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 22:24 GMT

Pirate

As an EDS-er I'm hoping this will signal a cull of the myriad layers of unneccessary management that paralyse the company.

How much could it really hurt? 

Posted Wednesday 14th May 2008 05:02 GMT

Jobs Halo

IBM is laughing i know i am. Now i don't have to remember two names of companies that i hate and wouldn't deal with if the payed me.

As for Sun, well, i don't think this is going to affect their install base much via EDS. UNIX admins and IT managers that know see a clear direction from Sun but HP-UX? Everyone knows that its a leaky boat caught in a squall (not insinuating theres anything wrong with the OS itself) but HP shoving 'Industry Standard' LOL Intel drek on the NIX world has not been a cake walk now has it?

The only company that is truly grinning from ear to ear is IBM. You know the old saying "No one every gets fired for using global services" I've seen it happen using HP services and EDS ; funny isn't it?

@Ishkandar 

Posted Wednesday 14th May 2008 08:01 GMT

Happy

Oh I'm with you on that brother, as my name indicates!

Long live the Texas Instruments TMS9900!

SWPB

Mark.

Need another vowel 

Posted Wednesday 14th May 2008 09:43 GMT

Paris Hilton

Must be a good word made from the letters EDS & HP. The best I could get for HP AND EDS was HAD SPEND.

This doesn't really change a lot... 

Posted Wednesday 14th May 2008 11:54 GMT

...apart from the colour of the handle of the pitchfork used to shovel the 'resources' from one project to another.

Memories 

Posted Wednesday 14th May 2008 12:12 GMT

Stop

WOW

Talk about deja vue, who would have thought that the cock raoches that declared the demise of HP back in 2001 would be brave enough to raise their heads again with similar rubbish?

What a disaster the HP/Compaq merger was!

Biggest IT company in the world

No 1PCseller in the world

Sales up

Profits up

Customer satisfaction Up

As was said before, a disaster like that I can live with.

And why would anyone hate a company?

A company is an inanimate object, it is like saying "I hate the stop sign at the end of the road" just plain stupid. If you don't like the products don't buy them, quite simple realy.

Anagrams 

Posted Wednesday 14th May 2008 13:16 GMT

The letters from "Hewlett Packard EDS" generate some splendid anagrams:

Adept hackers dwelt, lewd perks attached

Tackled head twerps:

- Thwacked, plastered

- Whacked, splattered

Lacked twerp deaths

Just for your delectation !! 

Posted Friday 16th May 2008 07:09 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7403286.stm

As an example of the kind of "wonderful deal" that HP has acquired, the NHS IT project is an open wound that will carry on haemorrhaging red ink for years to come since it is a *FIXED PRICE* contract !! Four more years to promised delivery date, then more years to next promised delivery date, then ......ad infinitum !! BUT NOT ONE CENT MORE WILL THEY RECEIVE since they have been paid and NOT delivered !!

Ross Perot and the other shareholders MUST be bawling their collective eyes out all the way to their off-shore tax-haven Caribbean bank !!

What's the betting that a now-relieved Ross Perot will be up to his old tricks and challenge Barack Obama for the Presidency ??

Levels of management in EDS - LOL 

Posted Friday 16th May 2008 10:06 GMT

"DaddiesIsBetter

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2008 22:24 GMT

As an EDS-er I'm hoping this will signal a cull of the myriad layers of unneccessary management that paralyse the company."

It seems to change on a monthly basis but at this point in time I am 8 (yes, 8) levels below the the top one-club (or should it be one-axe) golfer in this bureaucratic nightmare that is HP. Chances are the EDS guys will keep what they have and have extra levels of non-functional HP management added.

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