Kim Jong Il: dictator, gnome, and now 'internet expert'

This week's historic reconciliation summit between North and South Korea has delivered an unexpected nugget of pure news gold: as well as being a "mad as cheese" bon viveur and the world's greatest golfer, Kim Jong Il considers himself an expert in packet-switched networking.

That's actually a tricked-out Mac Pro. Liquid cooled and everything.

News agency Yonhap reports the reclusive despot made the claim in reponse to a request from South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun that South Korean industry trading in the North be allowed online.

Kim responded: "I'm an internet expert too. It's all right to wire the industrial zone only, but there are many problems if other regions of the North are wired."

It almost sounds like BT's reasoning for not laying fibre to the home.

But we digress. "If that problem is addressed, there is no reason not to open [the internet]," Kim continued, explaining that the internet isn't for ordinary North Koreans, only experts like him.

The regime tightly controls all communications in North Korea. Internet access is completely locked down for military and important government applications. Kim, a notorious ladies' man, reportedly asked for then-US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright's email address when she visited in 2000.

Presently, there are two Kim Jong Ils listed on Facebook. He's probably trawling for babes as we write - his loneliness was of course well documeted in Team America: World Police. ®